Royal Red Robin Burger FTW

So the last week has been pretty good.

Last Tuesday (the 13th) Catherine and I took a train up to Frankfurt to see Ajahn Brahm. This was very exciting for me, as I’ve seen most of his talks on YouTube, and I had just generally written him off as one of those things I would probably never get to see. Then I was checking out his website and saw that he was coming to Germany. I thought: doable! So I did it.

Ajahn Brahm

The talk was very good except it was made about twice as long by an interpreter who put every few lines into German. I understand the need for that, but it was clear from the audience’s reactions that 98% of them spoke English, so it seemed silly. However, I got to hear some stories that I’d never heard before, which was good. I also had some delicious noodles prepared by little, old, Vietnamese ladies. Monasteries smell nice.

I mostly liked the feeling of making shit happen. I wanted to do it, so I did it.

"Let's put 'im in a pot!"

Getting shit done. I like it.

Today I started packing my things. Tonight I’m returning my cable modem. Tomorrow I have my last day of classes and then I finish packing. Friday morning I wash the last of my clothes and my sheets, then I move out of my room, and then my ass is on a train to Frankfurt. We’re staying in a hotel, and then on Saturday we fly out.

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡OMGOMGOMGOMGIMSOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoEXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!

After I arrive: Royal Red Robin Burger.

‘Til then.

DIE DIE DIE

I hope every last one of you motherfuckers dies. Replace leaf with my face:

FUCK YOU.

Patriotism Indulgence and the Subsequent Hangover

Yesterday was the most fun I’ve had in a long time.

But then today I log into Facebook and see some weird shit:

1) People getting pissy at others who posted so-called “anti-American” sentiments on the Fourth of July. My thoughts:

If Nazis have the right to march (peacefully) through little Jewish towns filled with Holocaust survivors, then you bet your American ass you have the right to bitch about the United States on any day of the year- including Independence Day- should you desire to. It doesn’t harm anyone, so it cannot be intrinsically wrong.

I don’t understand why this idea bothers so many people. You don’t have to like an opinion which differs from your own, but you can show some respect and practice tolerance and understanding.

I think my main problem is why it is so important to so many people whether or not someone likes the old US of A. Frankly, I can’t seem to give a shit even if I try. The impact that someone’s differing opinion has on my life is infinitesimal.

My other problem is that the people who are condemning this criticism of the United States are not simply disagreeing with the opinion. They are trying to assert that the mere HAVING of the opinion is wrong. So it’s not “I think you are wrong being of X, Y and Z.” That would be acceptable to me. Rather, it’s “You should not have that opinion, because it is wrong to have an opinion which is not X.” That’s a little screwed.

Anyway, my goal in writing this is just to point out that an analytical approach to these sorts of topics is far more useful than an emotional one. There’s no use getting upset about any of it.

2) “Happy 4th everyone. I love this country and what it stands for and the freedom we have and whether anyone likes it or not the reality is our country was founded on God and His Word!”

This is just straight-up not factual. My mind is boggled.

Normally I wouldn’t bother getting into politics, but I guess with me being abroad, it comes up a lot.

Anyway, here’s a picture of me holding an apple pie I made.

And here’s a close-up of what is written on my arms. It helps when most people around you don’t speak that much English.

It’s Not Time-Wasting; It’s Learning

So, I just re-downloaded my favorite N64 emulator, Project 64 and loaded up all my old games which currently sit, in cartridge-form, 3,760 miles away on another continent. Gosh, the Internet is neat. The super neat part is that I was able to download multilingual versions, so I can play them in German. I am now officially immune from criticism.

Zelda in German

Turns out you can also buy a device that plugs into your computer, into which you can plug your N64 controller. This may be an option in the future for when I feel the urge to indulge, but want to spare my old equipment the wear and tear.

Nifty, nifty nifty.

In other news, I’m getting tired of this country. I’m just going to classes and trying to keep myself properly fed, which is a struggle. I miss fresh fruit. Big, juicy strawberries. Cherries. Cantaloupe. Honeydew. Watermelon. Mostly melons. Vegetables. Green beans. Black beans. Steak. Ground beef. Eggs which aren’t radioactive. Gallons of pasteurized milk. Royal Red Robin burgers. Cheddar cheese. Double-stuffed Oreos. Yerba maté.

I’m anxious to do stuff in America again.

A Guide to Being Emotionally Prepared for Quirks, Oddities and Unpleasant Things Found in Germany

The following is an essay I wrote so that Regine doesn’t take away my scholarship money. If you are going to Germany, you may find it helpful, and if you are already in Germany, you may find it incredibly silly. The WordPress formatting is being fucking stupid, and I don’t feel like fixing it up, so you’ll just have to deal with not having breaks in between every paragraph. Anyway…

Read more of this post

The Titty Sea and Other Fun Photos

Monday was a holiday. Don’t ask me what it was about- it was some Catholic nonsense. Therefore, since fuck-all could be accomplished in Freiburg, Catherine, her boyfriend Jon, and I took a trip down to Titisee (pronounced TEE-tee-zay).

I’ve been to Titisee a few times before, but each time it was bitterly cold and mostly no fun. This time I didn’t actually want to go, but I figured I should use the opportunity to take some pictures for you vult- er, lovely folks. In true karmic fashion, once having let go of the intention to have a good time, I actually had a good time. Best Titisee visit so far.

List of Good Stuff

1. The weather was GORGEOUS. It was nice to be exposed to the sun for a little bit.
2. Awesome Chinese food. No, seriously, I had good Chinese food there. Don’t judge me, I’m sick of schnitzel. I just wanted to dip my face in a bowl of rice.
3. Best pretzel I’ve ever had.
4. Best sausage I’ve ever had.

I also found a giant American flag in Titisee, which aroused in me strange feelings of patriotism. I bought it and hung it up.

I hate that flag-waving, I-love-America-more-than-you-do bullshit at home. Displaying a flag doesn’t mean anything in America. Most Americans don’t know anything outside of the United States, so a flag serves no purpose beyond trying to impress upon your neighbors just how “patriotic” you are. I find that shallow and worthless. I don’t think you can really love your country if you’ve never missed it.

Anyway, I was trying to upload all my photos of Titisee, my bedroom here in the StuSie, and Freiburg to Photobucket, and this was the result:

Therefore, I decided to make web albums on Picasa. The links are below. Please let me know if you have any difficulty viewing them, and beware of sneaky captions underneath some of the images.

Basel Zoo (Day 71)

Ok, so I haven’t writen in a while. During the month April I was stricken- bedridden, really- with a very serious case of Lazy. I have since made a full recovery.
Two days ago, Catherine, Emily and I went to the Basel Zoo, which was friggen awesome, becuase I love zoos. Lions, elephants, giraffes, bears, kangaroos, buffaloes, sea lions, jellyfish- they had it all covered. It really was a proper zoo.
On the way back we were nearly suffocated in a tram full of drunk soccer fans. Just when you thought “Wow, I really can’t afford to lose any more oxygen” some bitch-ass ho shoved her baby carriage onto the tram, basically ramming it into people until they gave way. We are continually baffled by German tram behavior. Some examples:
  1. Germans will do anything in their power to fit onto that tram, regardless of how packed it is. The concept of “I’ll wait for the next one that’s coming in five minutes is totally foreign to them.”
  2. Related to 1: No matter how far away they are from the stop when they see the tram arriving, your average German will HAUL ASS and sprint to make it. Everyone does this, even old folks, and mothers pushing baby carriages, and they will sometimes sprint across a busy street with no walk signal (an offense for which you can lose your liscense). It is as if each tram is the last train out of Nazi Germany.
  3. Babies are utilized as battering rams. As in the example above, it doesn’t matter how crowded an area is, you can always expect some inconsiderate German woman to baby-smash her way through a group of people.
Anyway, walking back from the tram brought even more surprises. Turning the corner to go back to our buildings, we encountered a nice, young gentleman urinating on the side of the path. Problems with this:
  1. He did not appear to be a drunk soccer fan. He apparently just needed to have a wee, and decided to do that right there.
  2. It was broad daylight, in the middle of the afternoon.
  3. He must have heard us coming. We were probably talking, and our footsteps must have been audible.
  4. He was peeing exactly like Butters. Shirt up, shorts down, letting gravity take care of the rest.

Anyway, that’s all for now. Just thought I’d give a quick update and let people know I’m still alive. To ease your almost-certain disappointment with this entry, I present you with the latest Rammstein video, and my current ringtone.

EDIT: So it turns out the owner of that penis was not peeing, he just hangs out there all the time putting himself on display. Two other people have reported seeing him on multiple occasions. This place is so odd.