Basel Zoo (Day 71)

Ok, so I haven’t writen in a while. During the month April I was stricken- bedridden, really- with a very serious case of Lazy. I have since made a full recovery.
Two days ago, Catherine, Emily and I went to the Basel Zoo, which was friggen awesome, becuase I love zoos. Lions, elephants, giraffes, bears, kangaroos, buffaloes, sea lions, jellyfish- they had it all covered. It really was a proper zoo.
On the way back we were nearly suffocated in a tram full of drunk soccer fans. Just when you thought “Wow, I really can’t afford to lose any more oxygen” some bitch-ass ho shoved her baby carriage onto the tram, basically ramming it into people until they gave way. We are continually baffled by German tram behavior. Some examples:
  1. Germans will do anything in their power to fit onto that tram, regardless of how packed it is. The concept of “I’ll wait for the next one that’s coming in five minutes is totally foreign to them.”
  2. Related to 1: No matter how far away they are from the stop when they see the tram arriving, your average German will HAUL ASS and sprint to make it. Everyone does this, even old folks, and mothers pushing baby carriages, and they will sometimes sprint across a busy street with no walk signal (an offense for which you can lose your liscense). It is as if each tram is the last train out of Nazi Germany.
  3. Babies are utilized as battering rams. As in the example above, it doesn’t matter how crowded an area is, you can always expect some inconsiderate German woman to baby-smash her way through a group of people.
Anyway, walking back from the tram brought even more surprises. Turning the corner to go back to our buildings, we encountered a nice, young gentleman urinating on the side of the path. Problems with this:
  1. He did not appear to be a drunk soccer fan. He apparently just needed to have a wee, and decided to do that right there.
  2. It was broad daylight, in the middle of the afternoon.
  3. He must have heard us coming. We were probably talking, and our footsteps must have been audible.
  4. He was peeing exactly like Butters. Shirt up, shorts down, letting gravity take care of the rest.

Anyway, that’s all for now. Just thought I’d give a quick update and let people know I’m still alive. To ease your almost-certain disappointment with this entry, I present you with the latest Rammstein video, and my current ringtone.

EDIT: So it turns out the owner of that penis was not peeing, he just hangs out there all the time putting himself on display. Two other people have reported seeing him on multiple occasions. This place is so odd.

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